Stressed? Find ways to beat burnout and do what matters most

As today's women juggle career, family and other demands, life can sometimes feel overwhelming.

"I feel like I am constantly trying to squeeze things into my schedule — like grocery shopping and doctors' appointments. It is a giant juggling act, where I say, 'Well, I need to feed the kids, but do I really need to have my annual Pap smear?" says Colleen Mulhall-Briski, a mom of two in Westminster, Calif., who gets up at 4:40 a.m. to exercise before rushing into her morning routine.

Putting ourselves on the back burner while we live this super-busy, fast life has real consequences. "We don't have much downtime so we end up losing time to sleep, relax and connect with friends and partners. All these things affect our sense of well-being and health," says Katrina Alcorn, author of Maxed Out: American Moms on the Brink.

And running on fumes is a serious issue in the U.S., where women don't just have it all, but do it all (or most of it), too, says Brigid Schulte, author of Overwhelmed: How to Work, Love and Play When No One Has the Time. According to Schulte, women not only work more hours at their jobs now than they did in previous decades, society has gone and raised the standards on what it takes to be a good mom and maintain a home.

So when you get to the point of going without meals, brushing your teeth or having sex (and fun!) because there's "just no time," Schulte says, you need to stop and take a serious look at your life.

You there now? We hear you. Here's what to do next:

Prioritize
Write down all the have-to-do's, need-to-do's and should-do's that are crowding your mind. Then figure out your most important tasks for the next three to six months. These are your short-term goals.

Prioritize the tasks on your to-do list by what will help you achieve these goals. On a daily basis, select the one thing that absolutely must get done (and also helps you reach your goals) and commit to accomplishing it. Give yourself permission to not do anything else.

"Our to-do list is there to help us, not tyrannize us," Schulte states. "You have to make choices. I cannot tell you how many times I have left a gigantic pile of laundry unfolded to read a book instead."

Opt-out
"The pressure (to do it all) is real in this culture, and you shouldn't feel like something is wrong with you because you can't handle the stress," says Alcorn. Instead, she advises women to opt out of whatever it is that's adding unnecessary exhaustion to their lives.

Say no to an after-hours networking event, to endless kids' activities or the boring book club that you just complain about attending. Then you can say yes to a yoga class, a date night or even logging more z's. "You do have a choice. If it's a beautiful day and you want to ditch swim lessons to go to the park, go for it. You can change your mind at the spur of the moment," Alcorn says.

Stop comparing
Yeah, but Mrs. Heidi-Klum-Look-Alike has five kids with brushed hair, a rockin' job title and time for hot yoga, plus weekend date nights! You know you'd be lying if you claimed a goal like this has never crossed your mind.

But Alcorn puts it simply: Just stop. "Women fall into a trap when we measure our insides, which we know are a hot mess, by other people's outsides. Everyone has their own struggles. We do ourselves a disservice when we keep comparing. And, we do other people a disservice because we judge them, and they feel it."

Find shortcuts
Look for ways to make required weekly or daily tasks easier. For example, meal planning and grocery shopping is the bane of time-starved women, at least the ones I know. Breakfast for dinner again? No thanks!

Mulhall-Briski uses the smartphone app Plan to Eat (plantoeat.com) to streamline the process. In my playgroup, two moms use meal prep services, and another mom does a huge Costco run once a month, preps and freezes her own meals and then uses a weekly home-delivery service for perishables. Find what works for you and your family — and outsource.

Get help
Before you melt down, ask others to pitch in. Perhaps your co-worker can take a task off your plate.
Maybe a (really nice!) friend could pick up your dry cleaning. Your partner could do the Christmas shopping this year. The kids could walk the dog.

But to get help, you have to speak up, says Alcorn. "When we're feeling overwhelmed, we need to let people in our lives know so they can help. Advocate for what you need early on."

Most of all, don't let slowing your roll become another big to-do on your list. Start small. Even incremental changes can give you major relief over time.

Says Schulte, "We're always chasing after the big happy, but it's really the micro moments that matter. Small shifts in your mindset, your moods and your habits make a difference."